This July will commemorate the 5 year anniversary of Azealia Banks' mixtape, 'FANTASEA'. This September will commemorate my 20th anniversary of being alive. Basic math will show that I was 14 when I was fully exposed to Azealia's creative integrity and commitment to music.

Having heard, and already being a massive fan of Azealia's 1991 - EP (2012), it wasn't until her first mixtape that we truly got to experience her voice and stories. Samples of the mixtape released prior to release included the infamous '212', fan-favourite 'Fuck Up the Fun' and a brand new song 'Jumanji'. Listening to just these three songs will show her versatility and worth. On mixtape release day, I was presented with a 19-song strong tracklist - and without trying to sound over dramatic, my life changed.

At 14, my music knowledge was probably wider than the majority of my classmates' - but that only included chart toppers and songs my mum would blast from the bath, late on a school night. Banks was one of the first artists I could truly run into school and inform my peers about. Here's just a couple of memories I have with certain songs...

For a larger portion of my early teens, I was part of a dance troupe for a local company. My relationship with the dance teacher was very personal. We would be eager to start our dance lessons on a Tuesday with new music from the week, and discussing choreography to our own fan-made mixes. When 'Jumanji' was released, I instantly visualised choreography alongside it and had to inform Shaun! (This is the days before I utilised Facebook Messenger, so Tuesday was looming). Our dance studio was on the second floor of the leisure centre and I remember being sat on the viewing deck, overlooking the main entrance. I got there so early just to make sure I was the first to see Shaun and inform him on how sick this song really was. He clicked with it straight away, and we freestyled in the studios while we were waiting for the other students.

I went to a pretty decent secondary school - we were academically the strongest school in the area, with plenty of students from various cultures/backgrounds. We would have these house parties pretty much every weekend and I always remember getting stressed out at some of the music choices. These kids were mixing slow music straight after a trance remix of ''What Makes You Beautiful' and I wasn't feeling. Once in a while, I would take of the aux and I was eager to play 'Esta Noche'. The intro is pretty long, and I was prepared for some back lash, but my girls could trust me. Better believe when that drop came in, it became a fan favourite and actually created some fans of Azealia. This song let me truly embrace my little gay ass, as flamboyantly as I  wished.

Twitter was THE place to be back in 2012/2013. Everyone really did get along, and it was a place where live tweeting was a given. Twitter introduced me to RuPaul's Drag Race - a US based competition for drag professionals to prove they are America's next Drag Superstar. I was introduced to a culture of gay black men in the Ballroom scenes. 'Paris is Burning' became part of my vernacular (without the inappropriate cultural appropriation, of course). In turn, I could appreciate songs such as 'Fierce' and 'Chips'. On first listen of the mixtape, they essentially went a miss as I couldn't resonate or white people dance to them. These songs make me feel kunty and inadvertently tell me to take up Vogue'ing lessons. Being part of Azealia's fanbase opened my eyes to a new world of dance and culture.

The visual direction for the music video to 'Atlantis' was perhaps the only thing from the 'Fantasea era' that wasn't necessarily introduced to me by Azealia. Being one of the original Tumblr kids, I was fully aware of the vaporware scene. However, for Azealia to indulge into it was a shock for me. I had only seen her as a house/RnB artist with plenty of early 2000 references. This was new and exciting, weirdly edited and not what I expected from listening to the song. The video was released whilst I was doing my GCSEs, and I remember being sat in a Drama Theory class when I got the notification. I showed my friend, who was already familar with 'Esta Noche', and asked her what she thought. She agreed she had never seen anything like it before. She was a force to be reckoned with.

The release of 'FANTASEA II: The Second Wave' is looming, and it's always nice to look back at how music has changed you. It's not always obvious at the time, but I'm typing with a big smile on my face right now. If you've never given Azealia's music a chance, all I can do is beg you to look past any negative headlines you might have seen about her. 'Along the Coast' and 'Count Contessa' are really nice previews of whats to come.

I'm in a real tricky position in my life right now where I've just come out of education and been in full time work for 4 months now, in a job that I've been at for 3 years. It's made me realise how much creative freedom I had at school/college and how the materials really were just provided to me. At the beginning of December, I remember really thinking about how something seems missing in my life - and it really is that creative flare that I took for granted while studying creative art courses.

During my creative 'panic', I bought an iPad as I thought I would be able to express myself using the many apps available, and the technology to use it as a drawing pad as well. Since the purchase, I've enriched myself in plenty of drawing apps, podcasts, books, magazines, news articles etc. - but it still just feels like I'm consuming all of this media and not doing anything with it. It's making me realise that these media types I'm taking for granted really are hollow and meant for a temporary fix while I'm on a train for waiting for a bus. On a completely different point as well - I'm really glad Vine is dead for this reason.

So how am I going to 'create my own creativity' - well, it's easier now that I'm an adult with a pay check and car. It means that accessibility to materials is somewhat easier - but it also means that creativity comes with a price. Without all the depressing ins-and-outs, here's a list of things I dream of looking into and wanting to master:

Creativity these days just translates to money. 'Expensive' art, or this consumable media with purpose really does mean using money in the right way. It's only when money doesn't become part of the piece, that we label it as 'political' - it's seen as stigmatised and then people start reading the art work; trying to find 'the purpose' or 'meaning' behind it. What I'm trying to say is that I want to create enriched work; on a financial and personal level.

It's come to my attention that there's a niche group of people who just assume that every last song that has ever been release was created with the intention of impressing them. Now, before I continue, let me just say that this blog post doesn't come from a place of anger; it's more of a public service announcement.

Okay, so let me teach you about a wonderful little thing called 'Uses & Gratification' theory. UGT is 'an approach to understanding why and how people actively seek out specific media to satisfy specific needs'. In other words; what do we personal get/feel in reaction to media releases. The approach is great for conversation as we all read media in different ways.

FORMATION

   

Possibilities of UGT here:

- Beyoncé as a powerful black female lead

- Feminist advocate

- Human rights advocate

- Humanitarian

- Black Rights advocate

- Equal rights advocate

- It's a fucking bop of a song, let's just listen and enjoy the fucking self empowering song. CAUSE I SLAY

Possibilites of UGT here:
- Rihanna as a strong, black woman in the lead role
- Rebelling against societal norms
- Representations of various female body types within the video
- Displays alternative fashion choices within the video
- Used as a form of 'escapism' - much like GTA
- We can relate to the anger of financial problems
- The song is a fucking BOP. It was played on my 18th birthday in a club - so drunk, staring into a laser with hundreds of people around me?! Hell fucking yes.

As we develop on our thoughts and processes this new wave of feminism we are riding in at the moment, there is one dominating questions which bares me no answers.

Why are women in the music industry (still) being tortured?

With recent news of up-and-coming RnB artist, 'Kehlani' attempting suicide due to complications in romantic relationships; I can't help but wonder if there is a sweeping mental health problem across the music industry. Given that Kehlani isn't being directly affected by the music industry in this particular situation, it is still important to note the scrutiny she has faced from fellow 'artist' Chris Brown. Chris made a comment on how she supposedly faked the suicide - but who really cares for Chris after his 2009 incident involving RnB princess, Rihanna? Which leads me on to my next story...

Chris plead guilty in 2009 after physically abusing Rihanna after the Grammy award ceremony of the same year. Full details on the event can be read 'here' - but I warn you that the detailing is graphic and portrays a real event in clarity. The monster then goes on and gets a distinctive neck tattoo of a 'beaten woman' on his neck after the event which shows similar injuries to Rihanna's face. 

Yet here we are, in 2016. Chris still has a career, a platform to voice his opinions, and still working with top producers such as Benny Benassi; who just released their most recent collaboration 'Paradise'. Disgusting.

But torture doesn't stop with just Chris Brown; I'm sure we've all heard about the Kesha ordeal involving mainstream-pop producer 'Dr Luke'. I've already posted a detailed blog post regarding that situation - although, certain fact and opinions may be slightly altered due to more details being released. This abuse has been haunting Kesha for years now, and after having her rights to remove herself from the contract they share being denied, she is facing many obstacles. On the plus side, Luke's pro-tools for his music were recently leaked (a.k.a. the tools he uses to create every last song he has/will ever produced - meaning all his productions from here on out are now redundant.) His family have also spoken out claiming that they are all being affected by the ordeal, and there is no 'justice' being served. Whatever that means. There has however been huge public support for Kesha from various artists such as Lady Gaga (who personally met Kesha and other abuse victims through her Born This Way Foundation), and Adele who publicly spoke out at the 2016 Brits awards during one of her speeches. Yet - Sony is yet to react, despite other artists stating that Luke has (attempted to) abuse them [including. Kelly Clarkson and Bonnie McKee].

Lady Gaga is another artist who has been very vocal on her physical and emotional abuse during her 'up-and-coming' years as a pop artist. Although her abuser has never been given a name (which I still find very strange), it does hone in on the fact that even one of the most globally successful artists in the world right now can still be affected by this. Very little details are known in Gaga's case, but it's still been made very prominent in music releases such as 'Swine' and 'Do What U Want'.

These are just a few examples of abuse that have been made public - I can't even imagine how many other cases have prevailed, but never come up in the mainstream media. But there are enough cases to make this a concern - way too many prominent male figures are abusing their power and letting money get in between not only the law, but human rights. It's gross, and I for one am bored of seeing it. 

Right, so I've stumbled across this YouTube video of Thomas Lloyd talking about his pride and

owning his identity at a TEDx conference...

His initial question came from peers and family members who ask "Why are [you] so gay?" and it resonated well with. Anyone who knows me understands when a misrepresented group is put at large, I actively speak out. Now, as for Lloyd's direct comments on his experiences and what he has learned from extensive research, I have nothing more to say. Lloyd made an engaging speech, which included satirical references and made sure to speak out on the issue of black men not being able to speak on their experiences with the HIV/Aids crisis.

The video sparked an internal dialogue, and made me realise how everyone in the LGBTQ+ community has a god forsaken right to be as loud and out as physically possible. I'm not exactly feeling a long, emotional post today... so let me bulletpoint this.

* - Bug Chasers are gay men actively looking to contract HIV. It's been slated as a form of self harm, and anyone dealing with or knows anyone actively looking to contract HIV should seek medical help.

I can feel myself getting angry just typing this out. It pains me to see people letting the world swallow them up because their family, peers or government don't 'agree' with their lifestyle. It makes me every more angry because my own experiences with coming out as gay have proved that all it takes it to be open, proud and being a likeable human being, for people to change their own opinions. Fuck this stigma that the LGBTQ+ community hold for being extremists. Fuck homophobia. Fuck every last ounce of self-hatred that the world puts into these little boys and girls through subliminal messaging.

This term has always been my favourite, mainly because I identify with it so closely. I know the progressive world doesn't believe in labels when it comes to sexuality or gender, but non-conformist just seems to fit.

With a simple Google search, we find that:

This is the video that made me fall in love with the girls - but it doesn't hint at what they're capable of achieving with their looks.

The psychedelic twins mix their raspy voices with their Addams Family inspired faces to create a hypnotic persona which leaves audiences intrigued. 

My next favourite is the original $LUT. Brooke Candy tells you not to give a FUCK. This freaky princess is a feminist with a new platform. Coming up through internet blogs, and collaborating with other indie princesses such as Charli XCX & Grimes - Brooke is a force to be reckoned with. Her infamous like "Next time they call you a slut, Brooke Candy tell you not to give a fuck." will forever be my favourite line from anyone ever. Her aim is to reclaim derogatory words and phrases against woman and empower them. Her outlandish looks, and controversial raps makes her such an ideal and force in modern pop culture. A lot of you have most likely not heard of her, but all I can ask is that you check out her new new single, the Sia-penned hit 'Happy Days'. Catch her just before she crosses over into the pop industry... OR, check out the fan favourite, 'Opulence' - the title track to her first iTunes release.

Okay so my next favourite is 'Grimes'. I've known about Grimes for years now, and never gave a single fuck about her. I'm not going to lie and say I've been a fan from day 1 - my first impression was 'try hard white girl posing with a snake pretending to be a Japanese Britney Spears'... honestly, you think I'm joking. Peep Brooke in the background!

ok this post is turning into music appreciation and there are drunk teens in my house night x

• is this a lie
• OH SHIT no it's real!!
• whAT
• At the moment she's supposedly not allowed to record outside of dr Luke's company... but it's progress
• WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
• the final cut from Dr Luke is on the 15th Feb
• YAAAAAY
• There are two parts to the court case!! The first is the sexual abuse that happened - he date raped her, she would often wake up in unfamiliar hotel rooms after being in the studio
• The second is breaking from her contract with Universal Music Group, which was legally signed by Dr Luke as well
• so what has just happened now
• sorry im so ignorant to this
• ur my go to
• He's technically playing her second manager and choosing her life for her. This happened with Britney Spears years ago as well. She was often sedated, and that's why she eventually lost it in 2007. It also explains she she kind of 'lost it' with her performances - she's very robotic now, and it's just uncomfortable to watch... Especially her 2008 Circus Tour
• Kesha's just won the first part of the case, which means that Luke will most likely be labelled as a Sex Offender now
• bloody hell
• good i hope he rots
• The whole case is being run with Kesha's mum as well. The only reason Kesha is taking legal action is because unlike Britney's family, her mum has seen it first hand. Part of the contracts means she's also not allowed to tweet anything from her PERSONAL ACCOUNT... So Kesha has been tweeting from her mums account and exposing him of all the weird and creepy shit he's been doing to her
• wtf thats so fucked up
• Kesha's mum has had access to the studio as she is a primary writer for the majority of Kesha's music. A lot of Kesha's style is deep and artistic, but her vision is BUTCHERED by Luke to be this drunken party girl. Like don't get me wrong, the girl is loopy.... but she's not respected by the general public
• Anyone who follows pop celebrities and underground leaks will know that her unreleased collection is clearly the best of her discography... it's sad, honestly. She writes AMAZING pop music, but can't share any of it until Universal butcher it so she can become this huge pop star
• this guy is a proper cunt
• It's terrifying though, because literally every main pop star right now is signed under THAT label. It's a veeeery powerful label with a lot of money, and knowledge around loopholes. What Kesha is doing is HUGE.
• good on her though!!!!
• he's such a fucjung creep
• *My image*
  
• I mean... look at the first few artists when you google them
• But Dr Luke is respected in the industry because of his accolades. He's created so many big pop songs of the 21st Century, so to get him on your roster is a big thing! I mean... Katy Perry's Teenage Dream album was almost entirely produced by the guy and the album ended up equalling Michael Jackson's record for most number ones on an album
• Sorry I'm like full on ranting here, but the music industry are so corrupt
• has he not done anything to any of the other women or men signed???
• but he's sexually abusive and rAPIST might i add
• why does that not matter to people?!
• Can't be too certain! Kesha was signed when she was 16, so was very young and dumb at the time. She basically signed her life away, whereas a lot of these older artists worked their way up and had legal teams cover their contact and most likely negotiated
• Exactly!! Because Universal have THIS MUCH power, American media are just not documenting it because a respected white business man is being questioned in regards to his personal life
• The only people who are actually talking about this are people involved with pop culture! Like, I've seen plenty of feminist blogs pop up saying it's disgusting that this isn't a well known topic for the general public. Even if you're not a fan of Kesha's music... this is a woman's LIFE and CAREER being put at risk
• thats absolutely awful
• im shocked like
• how the fuck is nobody mention this
• its HUGE
• EXACTLY!!
• This could actually alter the charts for a VERY long time!
• Without Luke's music, we could practically say bye bye to a lot of generic music as well
• I'm so grateful that we have producers like Stargate, Diplo, Paul Epsworth and Mark Ronson - all white men, but they can respect females in the industry AND create hits after hits
• (Even though Diplo has been questioned because of a case with M.I.A. but meh...)
• I LOVE talking about this kind of stuff, I feel so woke
• tbh more music producers come in all the time with MUCH more talent than this shitty pop stuff
• why tf have universal not done anything though like they're a huge fucking company and he's not that good
• Just look at his Production Discography... the amount of hits and number ones he has under his belt is ridiculous https://en.m.wikipedia/wiki/Dr._Luke_production_discography
• Because the found of Universal is... you guessed it *my image*

• A WHITE MALE WITH NO MORALES!
• Jimmy Iovine is a huge name in the music industry, why would he turn Luke away when he is the primary reason he is getting paid?
• Ok right now they're probably on bad terms because Universal will have to primarily pay for the case
• horrendous
• he's done loads of shit
• AAAAAND... can I just say that Jimmy Iovine also runs beat *Insert 6 of those overly sarcastic upside-down smiley emojis* THINK OF THE MONEY IN HIS POCKET RIGHT NOW
• Jimmy Iovine's current net worth is $970 million... compared to Kesha's $40 million, that's nothing
• fucking hell he's minted
• shit
• fUCK UNIVERSAL
• And they still say that illegal downloads have 'ruined' the music industry... HA
• NOT RLY
• FUCKING RIDICULOUS
• This is another reason why Lady Gaga is respected. She went through the same sort of thing with her management at Cherrytree Records. She was manipulated and sexually abused when Poker Face became a thing. But because this was MANAGEMENT of a record label which is co-owned by Interscope (owned by none other than Jimmy Iovine), it was heavily swept under the rugs. Gaga compromised her contract and ended up being managed soley by Interscope - which is why her net worth increaed significantly. Gaga is an amazing artist and woman, but again, she's under appreciated by the GP because she "Wears weird clothes and and her songs don't make sense". A lot of this story was told in the Marry the Night video, and I heavily suggest reading some analysis of the video because its fascinating
• what is she attempting to do (kesha) is she trying to buy out her contract or sue them or what??
• BOTH why is why this is sOOO big
• She's getting mild media coverage, so this will work in her favour
• If she loses - she's lost her career and will never legally be allowed to release music again. If she wins... then holy shit the future is untold
• and the luke cunt gets away scratch free
• would he get fired if she wont
• probs not
• Oh yeah Luke will hardly be touched, he'll probably get fined a couple mill'